So two days ago, I turned thirty five. Shouldn't be a big deal. But for some reason, this one really bugged me. Half of seventy and I can't get past thinking about all of the things I haven't accomplished yet.

I'm settled down. We've been married ten years and have three kids together (two living). So my life doesn't even belong to me anymore. I am a mom first and then Jason's wife. My whole identity is tied up with them. And most of the time that is fine, but I get in moods sometimes and I wonder what happened to me. I used to play hard and laugh all the time. Now my sarcastic comments are often missed by our four year old daughter although I am fairly sure she will develop the same offbeat sense of humor.

It's not that I want to take huge risks. I know that I can't. I'd just like to be able to think that I can sometimes. Does that even make any sense?