Blame

My four year old daughter's voice
coming back to me saying,
"We used to be so happy, Mom,
and then Dylan died
and now we have all been so sad.
When will we be happy again?"
And the freezing knowledge
that despite my best efforts
and attempts at pretending
that everything was still
the way it always had been,
I hadn't even been able to fool
my own kid
and the grief and pain
of failing her
was almost enough to
put me under for good.

But she and I held on
and we found our way back.
The recipe for hope
as I remember it
included hide and seek,
kite flying,
and many days that fell together
like a house of cards.